We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来得快。

Some people are like Slinkies*…not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像弹簧玩具，没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来倒腾去还是很有喜感。

Politicians  and diapers have one thing in Common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是：他们都很有规律地被替换，而且因为同一个理由——脏了！

War does not determine who is right—only who is left.
战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。